That reminded him! The first thing she said was, “God, what’s that smell?” How could anyone smell the foul odor of his casket interior when it was buried under six feet of earth? …Unless, of course, it wasn’t really buried at all.

There was only one way she could both smell the casket odor and talk to him. He could think of only one reason he remained alive and breathing – the casket must still be above ground. And if he was above ground, then the absence of any sound besides her voice meant that he was likely still inside his own funeral home. The wood casket vibrated its resonance when she talked and quit vibrating when she stopped. This line of logic was an earth shattering revelation to him. But how could he use this newly gained insight to his advantage?

For the life of him, he couldn’t think of a single thing.

In desperation, he pleaded with her. “Janice, listen to me. I know that I’m still in the mortuary.”

He heard her gasp. He noticed that she didn’t deny his statement – he was probably in the casket storage room. He pressed on. “There was never anything going on between us. Any romantic interest was purely on Stacy’s part, not mine.”

“Do you think I’m blind, Dan?” Janice said sarcastically. “Can you honestly tell me that you didn’t have sex with her? Give me a break!”

What could he say to make her believe him? Despite the risk, he wouldn’t lie. “I’ll be honest, Janice. I wanted to have sex with her. She is… was a very beautiful and voluptuous woman. But I swear I didn’t cheat on you!”

“Liar!” she screamed. “I hate you! I hate the both of you! Let me tell you something; I’m glad I killed Stacy Clemmons. Slinging a bullet through her brain was the greatest feeling in the world.